Okay Shoppers... I know what's troubling
you. You just spent
a deliriously happy "Black Friday"
malling yourself
into a spending stupor and have just
recovered from a consumerism
hangover. And through your foggy haze you
realize that you bought
gifts for EVERYONE except that one PC geek
on your list. We all
know a couple and can never figure out what
to get them. Well,
have no fear - I can help. Here's a few
suggestions on what to
get your favorite digital deviant...
Gadgets - This just goes without
saying. Absolutely
anything will fit here. Desktop toys, Styrofoam
dart guns, hardware
for their PC's, and anything that beeps,
whistles and flashes.
A few good ideas would be a Web-Cam (Just
make sure that his PC
has a USB port, Parallel formats can be hard
to find and cumbersome
to install), a Palm Pilot or other PDA (If you
have the cash and
the desire to go all out), one of those
Animated M&M dispensers
(See food), or even a Laser Pointer. Don't ask
me WHAT he'd do
with it, just trust me on this.
Books - Tough call here. The
stereotypical PC geek would
be interested in all manner of Science Fiction,
or fantasy books.
Comic books are also good. Trouble is, I work
with an awful lot
of these guys and not many of them are what
you'd call BIG readers.
My suggestion - the User Friendly compilation
by Iliad. User Friendly
is a Dilbert-type comic strip aimed at the Data
Community. And
don't worry if you don't get some of the jokes -
he will and he'll
love you for it. And it's easy to find... just order it
thru the
web-site at www.userfriendly.org.
And if my wife and Mom are reading, this is
what I want...
Clothes - Okay, now if you ask
him, he'll say that his
clothes are fine but let's face it: anyone stuck
at a terminal
banging out code all day or dealing with irate
Customer Service
calls from people who can barely turn on a PC
does not have clothing
as that high a priority. Chances are his
wardrobe consists of
a bunch of T-Shirts and polos given to him by
vendors at work
or picked up at the last trade show, paired with
two or three
pairs of jeans or Dockers. So a little bit of
fashion sense from
an outside source couldn't hurt. Besides, it'll
extend the amount
of time between laundry loads and he'll like
that...
Food - Okay, this one is a no
brainer. Geeks are junk
food junkies, so the key here is to avoid
anything that sounds
remotely healthy. Chocolate is always good,
as are Oreos, caramel
corn, chips and everything in between.
Something unusual is even
better, like say chocolate covered caramel
corn (Trust me - it's
DELICIOUS!) Coffee is also another good
choice, because let's
face it - our bodies thrive on caffeine. To get
the best of everything,
try a cool coffee mug filled with chocolate
covered espresso beans.
Just don't be around after he eats them. A
wired techie is NOT
a pretty sight.
Video - The emphasis here is on
Sci-Fi and Horror. Anything
with cool special effects, half-naked women,
and lots of blood
is good. Also the classics (Star Wars, Star
Trek, etc.) are always
a safe bet, assuming he doesn't already have
them. Other definites
are TV collections, like Babylon Five, any of the
Trek series,
or my personal fave KOLCHAK: The Night
stalker. Dig a little bit,
find out what he's into and what he needs, and
you'll get free
tech support out of him for months.
Booze - Okay, it used to be that
techies weren't big
drinkers. Such is no longer the case. Most of
the ones I know
enjoy a good beer now and then, the more
expensive the better.
Just steer clear of some of the standard
domestics and imports.
Some of the more unique micro-brews or
European styles will definitely
impress him. As for more potent potables,
stick towards whiskeys.
Scotch is good, but don't mess with the
blends. Get a nice single
malt, aged at least 10-12 years.
Cigars - It's a trend everywhere,
and we geeks are not
immune. A few nice cigars will always get a
smile. And there are
so many other toys that go with them! Try a
nice humidor, or travel
case with a cutter. And lighters! You cannot
imagine the variety
of lighters available today. My suggestion - a
decent micro-torch
(they range in price from 10 bucks for a
knock-off to $75.00 for
the higher end models) will definitely light his
fire.
Software - Okay, this is a really
hard topic. See, most
computer guys have at LEAST a half dozen
avenues for getting un-licensed
copies of software, so they rarely buy any
themselves. But this
can be used to YOUR advantage. Giving them
a REAL copy of something
will introduce them to the joys of using a
program without CONSTANTLY
dealing with the dialog boxes begging them to
register, or the
functions that are crippled until you buy a
license. And games
are always good, especially ones they can
play over a network.
My sources tell me the hot title now is Age
of Empires II.
Just be prepared for him to disappear with it
for about a month...
There you go - a quick list to stuff the
stocking of your favorite
digi-rati. Just stick to these suggestions and it
should be a
very Merry Christmas for the both of you.
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